Since announcing our adoption plans, I have encountered more ignorant comments that I could have ever imagined. Here are my "favorites"........
-- "I am surprised you would want to adopt "one of those." Those? Really?
-- "You should adopt an Asian baby. I bet you could get a "good" one." Nope. We were hoping for a "bad" one.
-- "You realize all babies from Eastern Europe have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, right?" (You should have seen her face when I assured her that Everlyn didn't have FAS, but did indeed have Down syndrome! Ha! Totally priceless.) So then she followed her ignorant comment up with "Oh, then you have already prepared yourself for the burden of raising a special needs child." (Or something to that effect...I had stopped truly listening by this point....)
-- "I think you are CRAZY! Why would you put your other children through that?" What? Giving them a beautiful sister. Yeah - practically child abuse.
-- "Oh, she doesn't look MR (ugh). She's actually really cute." No commentary needed, right? Ignorance speaks for itself.....
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--An Orphan No More--
6-3-10 - Child Specific Petition and Power of Attorneys notarized, apostilled and sent to Everlyn's birth country!
6-2-10 - Home Study draft ready...let the proofreading begin!
5-28-10 - Sent our "information request letter" to the SDA.
5-27-10 - Applied for "expedited" passports
5-24-10 - Home Study "wrap-up" meeting
5-20-10 - Eric's psychological evaluation
5-19-10 - Ashli's psychological evaluation and physical
5-18-10 - Physicals for Easton and Emersen
5-17-10 - Final (marathon) homestudy visit! We are cramming the last three into one so we can get our Princess home SOON!
5-14-10 - Physical for Eric
5-12-10 - Physicals for Elijan and Elliston
5-11-10 - First homestudy visit!
5-5-10 - Homestudy application approved. Hard copies of RR forms mailed.
5-4-10 - Completed Disclosure & FSP forms and emailed/faxed them to Reece's Rainbow. Completed home study application and dropped it off at Small World Adoption Foundation of Missouri with photos and application fee.
5-3-10 - Emailed Andrea at Reece's Rainbow letting her know we wanted to commit to adopting "C"!!!
4-30-10 - Saw the most precious picture of "C" on the Reece's Rainbow website. Emailed Andrea at RR for more info.
--An Orphan No More--
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Our Adoption Timeline
11-2-10 - FLY HOME WITH OUR GIRL!!!!!!
11-1-10 - Pick up Everlyn's visa
10-28-10 - US Embassy appointment and medical exam
10-27-10 - GOTCHA DAY! :o) Returned to Kiev.
10-25-10 - Our 10-day wait ends...
10-16-10 - Our 10-day wait begins...
10-15-10 - We are shocked with an early court date. It's OFFICIAL - Everlyn is our daughter!!!
10-14-10 - Interpol clearance arrives at the SDA.
10-12-10 - Court papers filed in Everlyn's region...and it's my BIRTHDAY!!! :o)
10-8-10 - We met Everlyn!
10-7-10 - Pick up official referral paperwork and headed to her region by overnight train.
10-6-10 - SDA appt! :o) Of course we ACCEPTED her referral!
10-3-10 - We left for Everlyn's birth country!
9-9-10 - We got our travel date!
9-2-10 - Dossier successfully submitted to the SDA!
8-30-10 - Hard copy of dossier delivered to translation team.
8-26-10 - Hard copy of dossier Fed Ex'd to Everlyn's birth country and a copy faxed to our translator so translation can begin ASAP!
8-25-10 - Our 171H arrived! The last piece of the puzzle is here!
6-25-10 - Final documents arrived for our dossier. IT IS DONE....except for the 171H from the USCIS. Praying it comes quickly!
6-23-10 - USCIS fingerprints DONE - 3 weeks ahead of scheduled appt! WooHoo!
6-10-10 - Home study COMPLETE!! Sent in I-600A - "Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition" with copy of Home study, birth certificates, marriage certificate and a sweet little cover letter (with her picture on it) asking the USCIS to expedite our application so we can get our sweet Princess home quickly!!
6-9-10 - Bloodwork done for dossier medical form. Mailed marriage certificates for Illinois apostilles.
6-8-10 - Passports arrive!!!
6-7-10 - CSP and POAs arrive in Everlyn's birth country
6-3-10 - Child Specific Petition and Power of Attorneys notarized, apostilled and sent to Everlyn's birth country!
6-2-10 - Home Study draft ready...let the proofreading begin!
6-1-10 - Results of psych eval appt. (Yikes!) Update: We're not crazy. :o)
5-28-10 - Sent our "information request letter" to the SDA.
5-27-10 - Applied for "expedited" passports
5-24-10 - Home Study "wrap-up" meeting
5-20-10 - Eric's psychological evaluation
5-19-10 - Ashli's psychological evaluation and physical
5-18-10 - Physicals for Easton and Emersen
5-17-10 - Final (marathon) homestudy visit! We are cramming the last three into one so we can get our Princess home SOON!
5-14-10 - Physical for Eric
5-12-10 - Physicals for Elijan and Elliston
5-11-10 - First homestudy visit!
5-5-10 - Homestudy application approved. Hard copies of RR forms mailed.
5-4-10 - Completed Disclosure & FSP forms and emailed/faxed them to Reece's Rainbow. Completed home study application and dropped it off at Small World Adoption Foundation of Missouri with photos and application fee.
5-3-10 - Emailed Andrea at Reece's Rainbow letting her know we wanted to commit to adopting "C"!!!
4-30-10 - Saw the most precious picture of "C" on the Reece's Rainbow website. Emailed Andrea at RR for more info.
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About Me
- Mom2FourLittleEs
- I am a husband-lovin', baby-snugglin' mommy to 6 great kids. We adopted a 2 year old Eastern European Princess with Down syndrome on 10.15.10.
12 comments:
This always amazes me. We never got any of those comments. Of course Oksana has CP but we've always been vocal about our desire to adopt a child with DS and people have been nothing but supportive. Maybe that will change when we actually commit but still, I'm just shocked.
I love your internal commentary on these.
I think you have to find the humor in it or you'll explode!
It never ceases to amaze me to find out what people really think. It still shocks me when people say "Natalie doesn't even look like she has DS, she is so cute!".....seriously?
Nearly unbelievable what comes out of some people's mouths. Seems like you handled it well. Many blessings upon you & your entire family. I'm excited to hear when she is finally home!
Prayers from the Black Hills of SD,
Gina
Yep! Get ready for more ignorant comments. I found that I stopped expecting people to "understand' or "get it". Even well meaning people say the stupidest things some times. On an encouraging note however, some of these same people completely change their way of thinking once they see that babies face! We saw it happen.
Oh - I have heard it. Too much. Doesn't it make your head hurt? (Or spin?)
Truly amazing but wonderful that are able to laugh about these comments. BTW, the blog is looking quite gorgeous and the extra button is just adorable! (winking here)
Julie - LOL!
Oh my freakin good lord! SOME PEOPLE!!! I love all of your comebacks! The sad thing for me is that I KNOW I will hear some of those from my own family members. :(
Oh, I'm very familiar with ignorance. Maybe you'll get lucky and get fewer questions since she's the same race as you guys and has similar coloring.
I'm not so lucky. We stick out like sore thumbs. My favorite questions include:
"Where did you get him? Is he from Africa?"
"Where's his REAL mom and dad?"
"Is he yours?"
"Why didn't you ask for a child that looks like you?"
"Why didn't you go to China or Russia?"
You know what, people are stupid. They say whatever they're thinking, whether or not it's appropriate. I've tried to come to terms with that and answer questions with a smile. Every now and then, though, I want to pop someone right in the face. When Des is older (and much, much taller than me), he'll be able to answer those questions with a mean glare. Until then, I just smile and grind my teeth.
I admire that you can find some humor in others ignorance. Some people would truly be better left unable to speak ;-)
sweet Everlyn is so blessed to have you shut your ears to such things! our son was adopted from Russia (not exactly SN, but still got lots of the same ignorance) Thank God for you! We are not quite ready to adopt again yet but visited sweet 'Cordelia's' page & even donated & prayed that her mommy & daddy would find her - Praising God that YOU did!! The world needs more people to be willing to adopt the sweet little babies that some may not see as perfect, but lovable and beautiful just the same!! Hurry Home little girl!!
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