--An Orphan No More--


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Ignorance Alert!!!

Since announcing our adoption plans, I have encountered more ignorant comments that I could have ever imagined. Here are my "favorites"........

-- "I am surprised you would want to adopt "one of those." Those? Really?

-- "You should adopt an Asian baby. I bet you could get a "good" one." Nope. We were hoping for a "bad" one.

-- "You realize all babies from Eastern Europe have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, right?" (You should have seen her face when I assured her that Everlyn didn't have FAS, but did indeed have Down syndrome! Ha! Totally priceless.) So then she followed her ignorant comment up with "Oh, then you have already prepared yourself for the burden of raising a special needs child." (Or something to that effect...I had stopped truly listening by this point....)

-- "I think you are CRAZY! Why would you put your other children through that?" What? Giving them a beautiful sister. Yeah - practically child abuse.

-- "Oh, she doesn't look MR (ugh). She's actually really cute." No commentary needed, right? Ignorance speaks for itself.....


ErinL said...

This always amazes me. We never got any of those comments. Of course Oksana has CP but we've always been vocal about our desire to adopt a child with DS and people have been nothing but supportive. Maybe that will change when we actually commit but still, I'm just shocked.

Molly said...

I love your internal commentary on these.

I think you have to find the humor in it or you'll explode!

Lori said...

It never ceases to amaze me to find out what people really think. It still shocks me when people say "Natalie doesn't even look like she has DS, she is so cute!".....seriously?

ginaology said...

Nearly unbelievable what comes out of some people's mouths. Seems like you handled it well. Many blessings upon you & your entire family. I'm excited to hear when she is finally home!
Prayers from the Black Hills of SD,

babyarnie said...

Yep! Get ready for more ignorant comments. I found that I stopped expecting people to "understand' or "get it". Even well meaning people say the stupidest things some times. On an encouraging note however, some of these same people completely change their way of thinking once they see that babies face! We saw it happen.

Katie said...

Oh - I have heard it. Too much. Doesn't it make your head hurt? (Or spin?)

Julie said...

Truly amazing but wonderful that are able to laugh about these comments. BTW, the blog is looking quite gorgeous and the extra button is just adorable! (winking here)

Mom2FourLittleEs said...

Julie - LOL!

AprilMay said...

Oh my freakin good lord! SOME PEOPLE!!! I love all of your comebacks! The sad thing for me is that I KNOW I will hear some of those from my own family members. :(

hallman said...

Oh, I'm very familiar with ignorance. Maybe you'll get lucky and get fewer questions since she's the same race as you guys and has similar coloring.

I'm not so lucky. We stick out like sore thumbs. My favorite questions include:

"Where did you get him? Is he from Africa?"
"Where's his REAL mom and dad?"
"Is he yours?"
"Why didn't you ask for a child that looks like you?"
"Why didn't you go to China or Russia?"

You know what, people are stupid. They say whatever they're thinking, whether or not it's appropriate. I've tried to come to terms with that and answer questions with a smile. Every now and then, though, I want to pop someone right in the face. When Des is older (and much, much taller than me), he'll be able to answer those questions with a mean glare. Until then, I just smile and grind my teeth.

chase'dmydream said...

I admire that you can find some humor in others ignorance. Some people would truly be better left unable to speak ;-)

Kate said...

sweet Everlyn is so blessed to have you shut your ears to such things! our son was adopted from Russia (not exactly SN, but still got lots of the same ignorance) Thank God for you! We are not quite ready to adopt again yet but visited sweet 'Cordelia's' page & even donated & prayed that her mommy & daddy would find her - Praising God that YOU did!! The world needs more people to be willing to adopt the sweet little babies that some may not see as perfect, but lovable and beautiful just the same!! Hurry Home little girl!!

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